There seems to me a lot of concern from the medical community and insurance companies these days about Americans growing older and larger. Despite all the motivations to exercise, diet programs to stem our cravings, and a dedicated group of medical professionals eager to support and help us get trim, Americans are becoming more and more obese.
I admit I'm one of that number, I'm obese and getting larger. My question is why. I've struggled with my weight my whole life; at birth my mom's doctor stated "She's big enough to go to school". And I was, with a birth rate of 10 lbs 11 ounces.
Grade school was hell. I was teased, picked last for teams during gym class, laughed at. Even as a preteen, while at the beach, guys would walk by and say "Look a beached whale!"
At twelve I was put on medically approved speed. Yes, you read that right speed. I did lose weight, about 12-14 lbs that first week. And I recall the drug-driven sensation of my skin pulsating, feeling like it was going to split open and peel off my body. After about two weeks, I was taken off the drug and my weight slowly crept up.
I've tried every diet known to man, Weight Watchers, doctor-driven diets, even those over-the-counter diet aids. I've lost 100 lbs, I've gained 100 lbs. Once, I even did it by myself, with no pre-dictated formula except my own, and I lost 100 lbs. On my wedding day I weighed in at 138 lbs and wore a size somewhere in the range of 4 or 6. But that didn't last long, babies and a husband who hit me sealed the deal. I gained it promptly back.
I've beaten myself up for not being strong enough or dedicated enough to lose. I'm a coward I felt, I simply want to hide behind my fat. What is it that keeps me fat?
Even now as a 60ish old women, who still occasionally dates someone from one of those senior dating sites, I experience the awesome pleasure of being taken down when they outright make crude comments about my weight or never call again beyond that first date.
I've stopped beating myself up. I'm done. I still dream of someday being slim. Able to slip into all those slinky clothes I once enjoyed. I keep praying there's a man out there who will appreciate me for who I am, the real me, not the superficial outside shell. Someone who will love me for who I am, not who they wish me be.
And there's a part of me who wonders if all this recent weigh gain by Americans is linked to depression, we're largely older workers kicked to the curb by corporations too eager to relieve their insurance costs by getting rid of the people who most need medical coverage, their older seasoned, experienced workers.
And these same corporations work hard to see that we don't come back, by combining 4-5 jobs into one, lowering pay scales, and asking the impossible of their remaining workers by burdening them with additional responsibilities, leftovers from jobs now eliminated and gently disbursed amongst those remaining.
Sure Americans are depressed, first they lost their homes thanks to the dedication of crooked bankers and now they've lost their jobs. Do we wonder that Americans are eating junk food, drinking more, doing more drugs, experiencing increases in gang and crime activity. Americans are fed up, and so we eat.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Spirits that Surround Us
We're all pretty much familiar with all those ghost hunting, paranormal or haunted places type tv shows by now. The question remains, "Do you believe, have you had an experience or been harboring your secret for years". I have.
Even as a young child I recall having a sense of someone watching me, the creepy sensation of my neck hairs rising in alarm for seemingly no reason. Only now as an adult and being fully aware of my surroundings and activity can I claim many paranormal events in my life. I give credit to the recent rash of television shows educating us about the paranormal for it is they, I think, who made it possible for so many people to come forth and acknowledge that they too have had experiences.
My first encounter, at the least the most blatant beyond that creepy being followed or watched feeling, was after my grandmother had passed. She lived in our home and as she aged lost her leg to diabetes. Being bedridden she would beckon my mother by banging on this metal table next to her bed. The day following her death, my mother and I were clearing away the dishes. She was drying them, I was putting them away in the pantry. Suddenly I clearly heard the metal table banging loudly, I stopped, turned, and looked at my mother. We both knew in that instance that we had entered a new phase in our education. Grandma wanted our attention and she got it.
Many years later I was living next door to an elderly neighbor who passed away at home. A few days following her funeral, my dog and I were in our yard. We had the typical California mandated five-foot high redwood fence where you could just barely see your neighbors heads as they move about their yards. This particular day, as I opened the door from the garage to the yard I saw my neighbor walking along the fence line. My dog immediately began following her along the fence line. As I stood on tiptoes hoping to verify my sighting I watched my neighbor and my dog walk side-by-side, the fence between them. Gradually the figure next door faded and dissappeared. Immediately my dog whined and returned to me, no longer tracing the fence line. I stood there in disbelief and marvelled at how my dog had reacted. My final thought was that she obviously wanted to check on her pet cat, Midnight, who through her death was now homeless. Midnight was taken in by her niecc who eventually moved in the house. I never told her niece my tale, not being sure just how she might react.
Throughout the years I've had several ghostly encounters while out walking my dog. On occasion I would spot a shadow person running across the street in front of my car, enough to make me brake and think about the experience. I once saw a ghost dog run across a street, while I held my dog back as she whined and wanted to give chase to this ghost apparition which vanished once it crossed the street. And another time my dog and I were walking near an old burnt-out abandoned farm house, As we approached closer to the farm house we spotted a lady, dressed in a longer coat, black in color, who simply stared at the farm house. She began to walk away and we thought nothing more about it. We completed our walk and when we drove by the same location on our way home the lady was there again, but somehow whispy and not clear. I looked in my rear view window, she had vanished.
Winchester Mystery House holds a creepy feely sensation in my heart after I experienced at least one visual experience of a ghost and all sorts of sensations while on the premises. Out-of-state relatives always enable us to take in the Winchester House experience and on one of those duty-bound visits I and a team of visitors on our tour witnessed a full-bodied ghost. We were in a hallway and another hall ran to our right. As our tour guide was explaining the kitchen area, we all saw a man suddenly appear in the right hand hallway heading our way. When I say appear I mean appear because he seemed to flow out of a wall and begin his trek towards our group. He had on a longish brown coat and larger brimmed hat frequently seen in old-time movies depicting the 1890's early 1900's periods. As he approached our tour guide stopped mid sentence, looked and asked us to wait while she walked toward the man, seemingly to find out who he was. As she headed towards him he abruptly turned and walked quickly back down the hall and then vanished. She continued for a few paces, turned and looked on both sides of the hall and walked back to us and explained, "Well, I guess you've just seen one of our ghosts." On other visits, I've seen a woman figure in the upstairs window of the mansion, felt a cold creepy wind sweep through me on a very tight stairway during a 90 degree plus summer day, and have seen shadow figures, running low to the ground and vanishing. This tourist mecca is certainly challenging and an interesting place to ghost hunt.
Last year my sister passed away, she living in Chicago and me living in California. She was ill with cancer and while I had a scheduled flight out to see her she made contact. I was reading the paper in my living room, my cat on my lap, my dog on the floor next to my chair. Suddenly a loud bang shook the house, sounding like it had come from the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen and found my purse in the center of the kitchen floor. This purse had been on the counter, pushed back against the back wall. If my cat had not been on my lap he would have taken the blame. I picked up the purse and returned to my reading. About a 1/2 later my other sister calls and lets me know my sister had passed; when I asked her the time, it was the exact time that purse flew onto the floor. Coincidence? I doubt it. My sister was letting me know, and she did a good job.
So whether you believe in the paranormal, or think its a hoax and everyone who believes is crazy, I have some words for you. Be open, be aware, keep close watch of things about you. They definitely are out there and they often want to make contact.
Even as a young child I recall having a sense of someone watching me, the creepy sensation of my neck hairs rising in alarm for seemingly no reason. Only now as an adult and being fully aware of my surroundings and activity can I claim many paranormal events in my life. I give credit to the recent rash of television shows educating us about the paranormal for it is they, I think, who made it possible for so many people to come forth and acknowledge that they too have had experiences.
My first encounter, at the least the most blatant beyond that creepy being followed or watched feeling, was after my grandmother had passed. She lived in our home and as she aged lost her leg to diabetes. Being bedridden she would beckon my mother by banging on this metal table next to her bed. The day following her death, my mother and I were clearing away the dishes. She was drying them, I was putting them away in the pantry. Suddenly I clearly heard the metal table banging loudly, I stopped, turned, and looked at my mother. We both knew in that instance that we had entered a new phase in our education. Grandma wanted our attention and she got it.
Many years later I was living next door to an elderly neighbor who passed away at home. A few days following her funeral, my dog and I were in our yard. We had the typical California mandated five-foot high redwood fence where you could just barely see your neighbors heads as they move about their yards. This particular day, as I opened the door from the garage to the yard I saw my neighbor walking along the fence line. My dog immediately began following her along the fence line. As I stood on tiptoes hoping to verify my sighting I watched my neighbor and my dog walk side-by-side, the fence between them. Gradually the figure next door faded and dissappeared. Immediately my dog whined and returned to me, no longer tracing the fence line. I stood there in disbelief and marvelled at how my dog had reacted. My final thought was that she obviously wanted to check on her pet cat, Midnight, who through her death was now homeless. Midnight was taken in by her niecc who eventually moved in the house. I never told her niece my tale, not being sure just how she might react.
Throughout the years I've had several ghostly encounters while out walking my dog. On occasion I would spot a shadow person running across the street in front of my car, enough to make me brake and think about the experience. I once saw a ghost dog run across a street, while I held my dog back as she whined and wanted to give chase to this ghost apparition which vanished once it crossed the street. And another time my dog and I were walking near an old burnt-out abandoned farm house, As we approached closer to the farm house we spotted a lady, dressed in a longer coat, black in color, who simply stared at the farm house. She began to walk away and we thought nothing more about it. We completed our walk and when we drove by the same location on our way home the lady was there again, but somehow whispy and not clear. I looked in my rear view window, she had vanished.
Winchester Mystery House holds a creepy feely sensation in my heart after I experienced at least one visual experience of a ghost and all sorts of sensations while on the premises. Out-of-state relatives always enable us to take in the Winchester House experience and on one of those duty-bound visits I and a team of visitors on our tour witnessed a full-bodied ghost. We were in a hallway and another hall ran to our right. As our tour guide was explaining the kitchen area, we all saw a man suddenly appear in the right hand hallway heading our way. When I say appear I mean appear because he seemed to flow out of a wall and begin his trek towards our group. He had on a longish brown coat and larger brimmed hat frequently seen in old-time movies depicting the 1890's early 1900's periods. As he approached our tour guide stopped mid sentence, looked and asked us to wait while she walked toward the man, seemingly to find out who he was. As she headed towards him he abruptly turned and walked quickly back down the hall and then vanished. She continued for a few paces, turned and looked on both sides of the hall and walked back to us and explained, "Well, I guess you've just seen one of our ghosts." On other visits, I've seen a woman figure in the upstairs window of the mansion, felt a cold creepy wind sweep through me on a very tight stairway during a 90 degree plus summer day, and have seen shadow figures, running low to the ground and vanishing. This tourist mecca is certainly challenging and an interesting place to ghost hunt.
Last year my sister passed away, she living in Chicago and me living in California. She was ill with cancer and while I had a scheduled flight out to see her she made contact. I was reading the paper in my living room, my cat on my lap, my dog on the floor next to my chair. Suddenly a loud bang shook the house, sounding like it had come from the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen and found my purse in the center of the kitchen floor. This purse had been on the counter, pushed back against the back wall. If my cat had not been on my lap he would have taken the blame. I picked up the purse and returned to my reading. About a 1/2 later my other sister calls and lets me know my sister had passed; when I asked her the time, it was the exact time that purse flew onto the floor. Coincidence? I doubt it. My sister was letting me know, and she did a good job.
So whether you believe in the paranormal, or think its a hoax and everyone who believes is crazy, I have some words for you. Be open, be aware, keep close watch of things about you. They definitely are out there and they often want to make contact.
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